Sabtu, 12 Januari 2013

Your Child's Failure Leads to Success

The main reason why many children do not have goals, will never set goals and not take action is because of the fear of failure. Many teens have an intense fear of failure, of making mistakes and feeling bad. It is this very fear that hinders them from setting high standards for themselves or even attempting to excel.

We all know that making mistakes is necessary in the learning process. We know that failure is inevitable and is the pre-requisite for any kind of longterm success. Most children will take action for themselves at one time or another. 

However, when they do not achieve their goal, they will give up. They will give themselves excuses, blame circumstances around them, complain they do not have enough resources to succeed and will not dare to try it anymore. This common pattern is a guarantee that the child will never amount to anything in his life.

Are high achievers also afraid of failure? Yes! They are. However, these successful teens tend to define failure very differently to themselves. Whenever they give their best and do not reach their goals, they do not see it as failure. They take it as a learning experience. They will then learn from their mistakes, change their strategy and take action again. This cycle repeats itself until they succeed. To these teens, the only way they can fail is if they give up!

So, if we want our children to dare set goals, take action to achieve them and bounce back from adversity, we must constantly reinforce in them the concept that 'there is no failure, only learning experiences'.

By creating a culture that 'it's ok to make mistakes, as long as I learn from mistakes,' your child will have the confidence to strive for better results.

So, whenever your child fails a test or loses a competition, communicate to him that it is all right to fail and make mistakes as long as he has given his all, learns from the mistakes and continues doing his best. 

A great motto you can use is 'Failure Leads to Success'. We always tell our students that the only way you can fail is if you QUIT or if you stop giving your best.

So whenever your child does not succeed in something, instead of saying, "Why did you fail?," a more empowering response would be, "What can you learn from this?" or "What strategy can you use next time?"

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